Madasaling Bikolano

It was a usual phone call in an unusual hour; nevertheless, I was expecting that when I pick up the line, I would be hearing  news from Iloilo. Instead, Arlene said, “Nanay  passed away this morning.” In so fast a news, how could you properly react but be silent.

Its been a long time, if I could recall, since I last saw her. If I’m not mistaken, long before we’re done with our P.I.S program in Iloilo, t family moved to Canada or good. Hence, when we moved back to V.H.S (Angono) we no longer had the luxury of “weekend-afternoon treat”.  Nanay’s family has been very generous to the seminary. There was no birthday party  (children or otherwise) that most of the seminarians were not invited. Their home was our haven and sanctuary not only from the academic pressures but also from our “real homesickness” from our real homes.

Nanay’s connection to the seminary was not only centered on food and “free showers” (this was during summer time, when water supply was scarce in “gulod”). Her daughters (Beng and Jeng), granddaughter Arlene and Beng’s husband, were generous enough to actively involved themselves in seminary’s spiritual exercises (being Sunday lectors and choir members).  She was considered to be one of our generous benefactors.

At 91, we can’t complain about her life. Her death, though sad, should not overshadowed how she lived her life, and how she let others live. Her death is just a pause of the new life ahead of herself.

As the beautiful night prayer reads, “Lord, give our bodies restful sleep and let the work we have done today bear fruit in eternal life.” Certainly, God wouldn’t complain.

Potty training seems to be the most challenging task for parents. It requires keen observation, excellent negotiation techniques and the maturity to handle defeat and frustration. Everyday is a bloody battle.

At the rate that Zach is absorbing our plea for him to tell us when he wants to wee-wee or poo-poo, he was very behind. As a parent, you question how effective you are and how efficient is your kid whenever a school representative asks you whether he is already potty trained or not. Although they would positively inform you that “its not a problem” if the kid you are trying to enroll in their Day Care Center is not yet trained, yet you knew that it would be well appreciated if he can already potty on his own.

To hasten the training, you employ helpful devices, from potty chairs to potty chair guards. There were even stars to pin for their own motivation. In our case, as our additional helpful device, we purchase a potty guard, so as, he may not only seat on the real potty chair, but he would be comfortable seating there. That was what we did, until the cashier at Wal*Mart asked us who is being potty trained and how old he is. Sensing for his additional burdensome bad comment, I pointed out Zach and added, “he is 3 years old and yes he is quite behind in his potty training.” To my surprise, he rebuffed me, and said, “There is no such thing as behind in potty training, everybody has his own time. Let him be and do not rush him.” I was taken aback. Here is a lady who is telling us to be easy while we, parents were too pressured to make him potty. And she was quite authoritative, given her age and stature in life.

Rightfully, indeed, for two weeks after that, while we were at Ron Carter’s Toyota, having Sienna’s oil change, Zach’s just followed me inside the rest room and after I did my “thing”, told me that he wants to make wee-wee too? Startled, but excited, I unzipped his pants and presto, he made his first wee-wee and to top it all, in a public place.

At this quarter, so far this is our greatest achievement. Although there were still some expected “lapses”, yet whenever, we ask him to make wee-wee, he regularly does it well.

And the bright side is, Coco for sure will not be harder to train when his time comes.

Thanks to the Potty Fairy at Wal-Mart.

Zach’s phonetic and pronunciation journey has come a long way. From manamani (milk) and manamanam (water) to the crispier “spaghetti meatballs” and “chicken”, was a lot of improvement. Although words that have deeper diphthongs and higher degree of difficulties remain to have a lot to be desired. Still, he can’t pronounce words that have Z or R. When forced, he could yell though with a resounding NO! And you won’t go further when such kind of emotion runs high.

But why is it that subliminally we sometimes tried to force our kids to do what we envisioned ourselves that they should be doing or learning? Was it a projection of us, or was it just a frustration as a parent. Somehow, it reflects both.  As parents from a third world country, tossed into the first world, this seemed to be a great challenge. We sometimes tend to prove to “them” that our genes and race are at par with the whites. By doing so, we stressed so much our parental parameters. And we go nuts when some people compare our kids to other kids. Shouldn’t parental care be something that we should enjoy and shower to our kids? If we rattle ourselves with the comments from others, we rattle too the growth of our kids.

On February, during his regular visit to his Pediatrician, it was suggested that Zach would go to a Speech Therapist and audiologist. Hearing such “suggestions” from your son’s doctor will certainly ring your panic button. But sensing the extent of opportunity for Zach’s growth, we immediately set appointment for the Speech Therapist. We felt that it would be a great disservice to Zach if we deny him the treatment he maybe needing. For me, it would be tantamount to being neglectful. Thankfully, they have one testing center at Don Jeter Elementary School , and it’s free.

We were quite anxious, though confident, on the day of the test. The Speech Therapist ushered us to her room and asked Jaz to fill up a form while asking some questions on why we brought Zach to her. Sensing that it would be too much for us to bear seeing Zach taking the test,  Coco and I went out of the room. Deep inside, I knew how Jaz was feeling.

In a little than 30 minutes, both of them came out in the hall way, beaming. The good news was, Zach passed the test and although, he can’t clearly pronounce the words, he has no concern about how he speaks. Jaz told me that two of the things that he failed was not identifying his NECK and color YELLOW And the best news was, by the time he goes to his Pre-K, he could be accepted at Don Jeter…and that is for free or with minimal fee.  We only have to pay a visit to his Speech Therapist to formalize his entry.

A day before we were supposed to go to his audiologist, we called off the appointment. For now, I see no reason that Zach has problems hearing. Why? Whenever I yelled at him that “spaghetti meatballs, chicken, or pancakes, are ready, he can very well hear me and he can very well consume them all.

Right now, except for letters S and L, he knows and identifies most of the alphabets and numbers. We are confident that before he turns 7, he will surely know the difference.

As for Coco , well, if his Kuya is busy with his numbers and letters, he, too, is always busy with his soup.

It was certainly one of the peculiar year for us migrants. Counting the year’s blessings and curses is not on the top of my “to do list” at he end of each year. However, I could give an exception.

The first quarter of 2007 shaped our family’s focus of the year. Feeling the heat of the two kids, I have to stop working and Jaz has to pick up additional load from Altercare. After 2 years of understanding the culture of weather in Ohio, last Spring  was a moment where we really got the real meaning of rebirth. It was something that we looked forward to, and Summer was the most anticipated one.

Right after Coco’s baptism, we drove all the way to Washington for our Spring vacation. We joined Bernie and Malou in going to the DC. The plan was to go to Niagara, but the icy lake has not started to thaw yet, hence we decided to visit the Baltimore Aquarium instead. That was our first real out the state drive. It scared the hell out of me, especially when we traveled through the PA turnpike, which was not too very welcoming to a driver like me.

Summer was fun too. Right after Memorial Day, we went back to Philadephia, for MM’s baptism (Jeje’s daughter). It was a 6 hour drive from Ohio. To maximize the trip, we indulged ourselves to the blooming paradise of Longwood Gardens. (We nearly lost our video camera, thanks to the crew of the garden, we never had a hard time finding it back.)

At this time of year also, Coco and Zach started to show peculiar characteristics of growing up. Zach exhibited his linguistic prowess by calling milk, MILK; instead of manamanami. Coco on the other hand showed how fond he is with food and books.

In the middle of Summer of 2007; we were tossed into a situation were we have to decide whether to uproot ourselves from the confines of Ohio to the ranger’s life in Texas . It was not though a question of leaving or not, but of when. Hence, at the end of July, most of our things were already in Houston , except us.

Fall of of last year proved to be something that I will always remember. Lolo Ente, after a long battle of old age illness, passed away. He was the last to go among my grandparents. I would always remember him as a meek husband to our strong willed Lola Consing. He was the most resilient one though. All my life, I had only witnessed him got angry once to me. It was when I “mistakenly fish-hooked” one of his chickens. ( I was then too tired from eating gulay and bagoong balayan.) He was a man of one word, and I will tell you, dare not to wait for the second one.

We barely noticed how this year ended. We were too busy fixing our new shack…and partying. The last four months of the year was all for “situating” ourselves trying to be real Texans. We have to introduce ourselves to the Freeways and Malls and to the whole Texans’ culture (roads and traffics here are very much different from  Ohio ). I found out that some of the drivers were not too courteous while driving. You really have to watch out.

Christmas season here was different. It was not always silent night. There was a lot of partying. We capped the year with a party in Rommel and Jean’s house with some of the folks from Roxas. Although we missed the BOOM and the BANG of Bocaue firecrackers, yet the ending was the same. It was a BLAST!

We have a lot to look forward to this year. Among which is Zach’s awakening, when is he going to start going to the potty chair…for real ? And of course, Coco, when is he going to start dieting?

Right now, we can only hope for the best of the rest of this year. I would always believe that all of our new year’s ritual for better health and wealth will have no meaning unless it points to the welfare of others…other than us.

We can only look forward to.

You can’t really judge one based on his/her looks. As Melanie Marquez put it, “Don’t judge my brother (Joey Marquez), he’s not a book”.

This happened to me a week ago at Stone Co. After coming from Jean’s house, we were
“inspired” to finish our front lawn project. Jaz was charitable enough to allow me to get some more stones to border our front lawn.

Upon informing the manager, he pointed me to a pile of uncut stones. He was kind enough to let one of his workers help me load the stones to the palette. He appears to me as a Mexican. When I sensed that we have already set aside a number of stones, I counted them sensitively in Spanish; “uno, dos, tres, etc…veinte-dos.” Then I looked at the Mexican and told him, “veinte mas”.

"Umm", he says, and silently counted too the stones. Out of the blue and to my amazement, he uttered, in a very slang manner, “Fo’ty two, ‘k, you want, twenty mo’e, I can help you with tha’” and so on and so fort.

Indeed, had he was not wearing a Mexican hat, a tanned skinned and had he been out of my sight, with the way he speaks, he could pass as a full blooded-red-neck American.

On my way home, I had a little introspection on how far that fellow surpassed me in terms of “speaking American”. I was miles behind him.

Indeed, accidence is not always the essence.

As the Little Prince says, "What is essential is invisible to the eyes."

Almost every minute, one can find the upgraded version of his/her electronic gadget. The evolution is unstoppable. It keeps on coming, better, user-friendlier, crispier, thinner, sleeker and prettier. Take for instance the case of TV. From black and white tube, cased in armoire style entertainment center to huge DLP, crisp projectors, to LCDs and Plasmas “plastered” on the wall, so sleek and thin one can not determine if it’s a picture frame or a picture tube.

From black and white, to color; from heavy to paper-light, from fridge-thick-like, to thin. When will it end? I have read that Sony is developing a TV so thin and light, it resembles like a plastic film.

The trend is not only on TV. Try going to C-Net website and I bet you, you’ll get excited. The electronic evolution is so fast your wallet hardly catches up.

We all like what is the best, the latest, the most efficient machine and gadget. We don’t want to be left behind. We pride when we are ahead and on top. Not only that, we make our resolve to get and stay on top, even if our wallet and future financial forecast can’t afford. Unknown to us, retailers love this kind of consumer’s culture.

I would be hypocrite if I don’t accept I am one of those crazy ones. Recently, I tried going to Black Friday sales. I was there 15 minutes past 4 hoping to get one of the most coveted-half-priced TV’s. Thanks that I had experienced the icy-coldness of the

Ohio

. My 45 minute stay in the icy cold weather with no coffee and was just wearing an inner shirt and a jacket was not so horrible because of that. I was ecstatic when the line started moving and was more euphoric when I lined up again in the cashier of the TV section of the store. I thought I could have it, for half the price.  For unknown reason, or for the sheer bad luck, my chance of getting one became so slim when on of the customers told us that there were only 5 more TV left. I counted those ahead of me, and flabbergasted when I found out that, realistically, I may not be able to get lucky.

So frustrated and tired, I left the store and headed for home. But I was so restless that I browsed the internet hoping to find a better deal, without realizing that Cyber Monday was still 3 days beyond.

Thanks to Wal-Mart. When I finally realized that Ms K asked us to buy her a GPS navigation, I hurried down to Pearland. Lo and behold, right in the center aisle was a pile of TV, not probably the brand that I first wanted, but good enough to pacify my electronic anxiety, I checked the specs, asked the guy about the price, and when I finally called Jaz and got her nod, grabbed the blue cart and hurled the TV to the cashier.

An hour after setting up the new TV, I realized how fast a human person can fall into his cravings.

In both areas of Philosophy and Theology, too much emphasis to the sense of pleasure is wrong, even sinful. If in the middle ages, their gauge of sensual pleasure was centered to carnal, now and here, we have all of it, rolled into one. My new TV certainly brings pleasure, of Ohhs and Ahhhs, and can put me in a tantric position of stillness when a good show is up. I can become unmindful of the things around me. Not even the cry of my kids and the scream of my wife can make me move.

How I wish that happens during our meditation days in college. ‘Twas the opposite, in fact.

But is there an end in sight for this revolution? I can’t see in the future. There is no electronic nirvana whatsoever. Where there is crave for more, there is more to come. So, what is next? A TV screen right before our iris’? An MP3 implanted in our earlobe. What else?

Probably, the question is not what else, but HOW ELSE?

Even if, indeed, virtue lies in the middle, it’s always US, recognizing and differentiating our WANTS from our NEEDS, can only determine the right time to say, “I had enough, that’s it.”

Even if there is no electronic nirvana, I am confident that there is always an electronic karma. (One that could come in your wallet or in your health).

“Marami tayong dapat ipagpasalamat,” as Guts would always say.

Indeed, and before this week ends, let me do my utmost responsibility to recognize and be grateful to all those who made our world easy and happy to live in. There are just so many amazing people that we have to be thankful too. We are g`rateful to our friends and families in Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Chicago, NY, DC, Fla, UK, China, Roxas, Gubat, Paranaque and of course, Cogon, Panit-an and Lutod-lutod.

This year is one of our most memorable ones. We have been uprooted from one place to another. Honestly, moving is no fun. However, our friends in Texas made that very easy for us. We were able to be “situated” with their help.

Nothing can top however, how grateful we are for good health that He always bestowed on us.

And over the simple-hastily-concocted dinner consisting of overdone steak, French bread, pasta, boston cake and lambanog, we celebrated our gratefulness.

In occasions like this, not because I am one, but Bicolanos have a very unique way of saying thanks, we say, DIOS MABALOS SA INDO GABOS!

‘Twas a treat of a kind. Jean and Jo made sure that their “milestone” did not come without notice. And we certainly were so grateful for the sumptuous treat at Todai, a Japanese buffet restaurant at I-10 near Ikea.

For the first timer, the place seems hard to find and navigate. It is best to come on weekends or beat the rush hour on weekdays. But once you entered their aquarium arched entrance and see the Japanese menu laid before you, you will simply be overwhelmed and say “HARA-KIRI”.

Todai is a place for Japanese-food-hungry yuppies and families. Pay a fee and pay homage to your taste. From grilled squid to fresh sushi, you pick your choice. There were I think 50-60 kinds of Japanese and Oriental cuisine. Jaz simply can’t resist her “sukiyaki” and I can’t fathom how helpless before my eyes the oysters, jalapeno fried shrimps, crabs in teriyaki sauce, sushi, sautéed sea weeds, and rolling rolls of maki. They were waiting to be devoured.

The desert section proved fatal too. Aside from the “usual ones” you find in a typical Chinese buffet they have the creepy crepe, fondue, and the simple cakes.

It was unfortunate that we have to go ahead of the group since Jaz has to work that night. It was a nightmare I was hoping to relive again.

And last week, at the sudden urged of our bellies and our tongue’s palate cravings, we indulged ourselves again with the heavenly guilty Japanese pleasure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (CITIZEN) JEAN AND JO!

With their parents in toe, the kids of Lakes of Savannah
went for a trick or treat at Pearland’s Independence Park.
It was our first in Texas.
While we bundle up in Ohio in this kind of season, here, it feels like spring. Instead of bone piercing
snowy wind, we have dust and breezy air.

The line was already moving slowly and the program was about
to start when we reached the park. Instead of going for the candies, we opted
to join the costume contest. Zach Superman, Adrian Giraffe and ‘Dre Transformer
tried their luck. Unfortunately, because their costumes were not exotic enough
and the crowd they brought was not big enough to merit huge applause, we lost.
(Next time, we’ll take this contest seriously)>

After the program, we went for the candies. This was an innovative way of
celebrating Halloween. The organizers made sure that they were not only giving
candies but service and information too.

The kids had fun, so as the parents. Had it not school day
the next day, we could have ended up partying. But definitely, this is one of
the event that we will be looking forward to attend to.

One of the most anticipated growths
that we are looking from

Coco

is his first
unaided step.  And I was lucky to be able
to witness that last Friday (sept. 14). Out of the blue, he just walked in
front of me, unaided. I immediately grabbed the video cam but I was too late.
Hoping to see him again walk and show it to her Mom, I set the camera but to no
avail. He didn’t do it again. I could only best verbally described it to Jaz in
the car on our way home.

The first step is always the
biggest step. It marked the beginning of his independence and our new
nightmare. Parents are always anxious to see their babies first step. You can
explain the joy once it happens. But coupled with that first-step-joy is the added
worry of shadowing him more closely. (Just
this afternoon, while I was bringing something back in the garage, I found out
how fast

Coco

can climb the stairs. He was
already upstairs when I caught him. Apparently, he was following his kuya. And that
is scary considering how high our staircase is.)

That becomes scarier because as
of this writing, Jaz didn’t know that.

This afternoon though, he made a
couple of more steps and I am guessing, he could be walking perfectly before
his first birthday comes.

Indeed, more steps come more
responsibility. And I cannot afford to be complacent, nor sleepy. Considering

Coco

’s boldness, compared to his Kuya, I cannot afford
another mistake.

Step? yes, but sometimes you wish it’s not a misstep.